Deep-dive Fleshlight review

Fleshlight deep-dive review

Updated: June 21, 2017

The Fleshlight is to men’s sex toys what Coke is to “soda”—many people use the brand name “Fleshlight” to refer to just about any sex toy made for guys, and there’s a reason for that.

When the Fleshlight was introduced, it brought thoughtful design, quality materials, and a more positive self-image for users to a market segment that was previously dominated by cheap, depressing, low-quality “novelty” products. Since then, the makers of the Fleshlight have sold over 8 million of their feel-good play things, expanded their line to include hundreds of different products, and have practically taken the brand mainstream, scoring mentions in major motion pictures and TV series. So take note—although the success of the Fleshlight has likely contributed to an increased awareness of sex toy options for guys in general, “Fleshlight” is not just a generic term for any sex toy for guys. It is a premium brand name that carries its own distinct history, reputation, and loyal following.

The product’s popularity alone seems enough to make a lot of people willing to take a leap of faith. After all, “try before you buy” just isn’t really a viable option for this type of product. And then, there’s those banners on their site that say “8 million men can’t be wrong”. However, popularity can also sometimes stir skepticism that there’s more hype than substance, especially in the case of a product that isn’t typically discussed casually among friends. Getting a friend’s opinion on upgrading to the latest iPhone is one thing, but asking a friend if he has a Fleshlight and likes it…well, that might be a bit awkward. But at $65, you’re justified in wanting to know whether it is really that much better than your right hand or if it’s just a novelty.

Since you can’t just run over to Target and take a look at one (not yet, anyway), and because your friends probably don’t want to talk to you about their Fleshlights, let alone admit to having one, what follows aspires to be the most comprehensive and in-depth Fleshlight review known to the internet. If there’s some aspect of it that we didn’t cover but that you want to know about, just let us know in the comments and we’ll see if we can add to the article. We’ll tell you what your friends won’t.

Choosing a Fleshlight

Talk about adding some variety to your sex life—the options are almost overwhelming.

Two Fleshlights: Wonder Wave and Mini Lotus

We chose two Fleshlights. A Mini Lotus in the black case, and a Wonder Wave in the silver case.

Tip: Finding deals and sales


Updated 06/21/17


Since we published this article, one question that has come up often in email is whether or not the company ever has sales, and the answer is yes. Black Friday/Cyber Monday are the ones you can pretty much count on annually but here’s what’s going on now:

15% Off All Fleshlight Girls

See also the Girls Page. The Mini Lotus, reviewed further down in this article, is available on a number of the Girls Models.


Fleshlight Social Media and Always-on Deals

The rest of the time you should keep an eye on their social media channels—Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram (just check in occasionally if you understandably don’t want to follow or subscribe) and include the two pages below in your research:

If you’ haven’t really explored the site yet, the first thing to know about the Fleshlight is that picking one can be a challenge. There’s a wide range of models and designs to choose from, and within those models, a range of options to consider.

The internal textures—where the magic happens

Explore ▶ textures using Fleshlight.com’s Build-Your-Own page (step 3). [NSFW]

Fleshlights all consist of a rigid, functional case (what you put in your hand) that holds an interchangeable, silky soft, supple sleeve (what you put yourself into). All the sleeves have different textures and patterns on the inside and this is where the magic happens. This is what you actually feel—the cause of the pleasurable sensations and the first of several features that make the Fleshlight more interesting than your own hand. The designs range from conservative—just a smooth tube—to undulating contours and twists that look like they’ll swirl around you and squeeze up and down. And then there are some that are so intricate looking and creative that you can hardly even imagine what they would feel like. So choosing a texture is probably one of the most important decisions to make. As you explore, your brain starts to go crazy (in a good way) trying to imagine what sort of new sensations each one might create. Eventually you’ll find yourself coming back to a couple of them over and over again thinking, “I’ve got to know what that feels like.”

With all the variety and enticing possibilities, good luck limiting yourself to just one. I couldn’t. I ordered two full-size original Fleshlights using the Build Your Own [NSFW] feature. The first one I chose is called the Wonder Wave. A blurb on the site said it was one of their most popular designs and it looked like it would feel pretty interesting—finally, something ribbed for my pleasure. And the second is called the Mini Lotus. It is described as their most realistic feeling Fleshlight. Since everyone wants to know if a Fleshlight feels like “the real thing”, I had to try it (for your sake, dear readers).

Entries—whatever floats your boat

I went with the good ol’ vagina. It’s hard to improve on nature’s design.

Fleshlight vagina entry.

Hello! I’m a Fleshlight. The vagina entry design is a little amped-up in proportions and color—almost cartoon-ish. But I kind of like that as opposed to something trying to be too realistic and serious.

On the site, they call the entries of the Fleshlight sleeves “orifices”. I have to admit that one of the things that made me a little hesitant to order a Fleshlight was that the first time I ever saw a picture of one, my first thought was, “oh shit, why is there a vagina stuffed in a flashlight?” It’s a little bit shocking the first time you see one and the use of the word “orifice” doesn’t help ease the oddness of seeing the likeness of a body part unattached to a body. Plus, “orifice” is definitely an unsexy word. So, I’m going to use the term “entry”. That’s not super sexy either, but it’s a little less clinical.

It probably goes without saying that I eventually had no problem warming up to the whole vagina-in-a-flashlight appearance. The rationale being that it’s actually pretty hard to improve upon nature’s design when it comes to our bodies, and the vagina is nature’s very own optimized penis-welcoming design. There are other entries to suite your tastes or facilitate fantasies, including a mouth, an anus, and butt cheeks, with the butt cheeks being the silliest of the designs. If you’ve ever wanted to have anal sex with an elf, here’s your Fleshlight. Some of the other Fleshlight models (NSFW links ahead!) such as the clear Ice, Stamina Training Unit, and Flight, offer additional entry options that are discreet and nondescript. They just look like enticing, feel-good places to insert your penis rather than emulations of human body parts. These are good alternatives if you want something a little more conservative and a little less sex-toy-in-your-face. However, if you want something even more realistic, they have the Girls series Fleshlights (very NSFW link), which are modeled from the bodies of actual internet adult entertainment personalities—meaning, the Girls series look like “the real thing” in detail. And if you are a guy into guys, take heart, they’ve got a whole other site and line of products for you—Fleshjack (NSFW link).

For this review I stuck with their good ol’ generic vagina for both Fleshlights. The design, including the color, is somewhat exaggerated and cartoon-ish, but I kind of like that as opposed to something that is trying too hard to be realistic. (I don’t want to take a sex toy too seriously.) It’s just real enough to inspire your imagination, but not so real that you start wondering where the rest of her went. Whatever you want out of a sex toy, they seem to have a model for just about everyone, and if you don’t know what you want, they’ve got new things for you to discover.

Accessories

Did you know a sex toy could have a product “ecosystem”? This one does.

Fleshlight Fleshwash antibacterial cleanser, Renewing Power, and Fleshlube

We opted for the care and cleaning products—antibacterial cleanser and “renewing powder”, plus some Fleshlight brand lube, which turned out to be great all-purpose lube.

One of the other things that sets the genuine Fleshlight apart from similar products is the fact that the Fleshlight is supported by an entire ecosystem of accessories. There is no excuse, short of being strapped for cash, for boring masturbation or sex-toy play with a partner as long as this company is in business. They have furniture-like objects called “mounts” (NSFW) that can hold the Fleshlight in a variety just-so positions perfect for humping. There is a shower mount with a suction-cup base for sticking it to the wall of your shower…for shower humping. And some sort of Bluetooth attachment for virtual humping.

Then there’s their complete line of Fleshlight brand personal lubricants, which we discovered aren’t just good for use with the Fleshlights, but actually great all-around everyday all-purpose personal lubricants. Plus, there are care and cleaning products—Fleshlight brand antibiotic toy cleanser and renewing powder. In the interest of not making this review any longer than it already is, we limited the accessories to the Fleshlube “Water” lubricant, the cleansing spray, and the renewing powder. These products will make an appearance later in this review when we get to sections on usage and care and cleaning.

Ordering and Shipping

“Oh shit, I just bought a Fleshlight.” —me, one second after hitting the order button.

Flawless Fleshlight delivery.

The Fleshlights were delivered on schedule via UPS with no problems.

If you’re a little nervous about actually placing an order for a Fleshlight—or any sex toy, for that matter, I’d venture to say that’s pretty normal. There are, after all, some legitimate concerns. If a roommate or neighbor sees the box, will they know what’s inside? What about the UPS guy? Will a company that makes sex toys for dudes take your privacy seriously? What will show up on your credit card statement? What if something’s wrong with the order and you have to call the company and ask, “yeah, um…so, where’s my Fleshlight?”—are they going to judge you? And $65…that seems like a lot of money for something that does what you can do for free with your hand—will it be worth it?

Although I write for a magazine that is mostly about sex, and although I know that over 8 million other guys have had the balls to buy one before me, the Fleshlight was the first sex toy I had ever actually ordered myself. In all honesty, I actually placed items in my cart, filled out the order form, and then closed the window without confirming the order several times before going through with it. “Do I really want to do this?” I wondered. But, I think a lot of people chicken out a few times before pulling the trigger. Eventually though, after revisiting the Fleshlight site several times and actually finding myself getting a little turned on imagining what each design might feel like, my curiosity (and obligation to In Bed Magazine) got the best of me. And (spoiler alert) everything went fine.

I ordered directly from Fleshlight.com (NSFW), using the Build Your Own tool. You may be tempted to save a few bucks by ordering via Amazon Prime, but through the Fleshlight site you can configure exactly what you want and, if you do have any problems at all with the order, you’ll be dealing with customer service reps whose bread and butter is sex toys for guys, not people who are selling everything from baby clothes to shower curtains. If you do have to deal with customer service regarding such an intimate product, you want people who are going to take your business and customer satisfaction seriously.

Discreet shipping label

Discreet shipping—as promised, the return address is discreet and there was nothing on the box that screamed “hey look, sex toys inside”. So that was nice.

Fleshlight order credit card statement.

This is what you see on your credit card statement when you order a Fleshlight—no mention of Fleshlight.

The package arrived via UPS right on schedule. As the Fleshlight site promised, there wasn’t anything on the plain brown box that hinted at the contents—just a small return label with the company name “ILF” and the company’s address in Austin, TX. ILF stands for Interactive Life Forms, which is the Fleshlight maker’s actual name. I figure the only people who might know what a box from ILF might contain would be other people who have bought a Fleshlight—and they aren’t going to say anything. “ILF” is also what appeared on the credit card statement. For additional privacy though, you could always buy yourself a preloaded Visa gift card from Target or Walgreens, and then use the card like a credit card to make your purchase.

Fleshlight Shipping

The Fleshlight sleeves are shipped with a small (about 2″ girth) support rod inside, perhaps for stability while shipping. Lest you get overly excited and jump right into using the Fleshlight without exploring it carefully first, be sure to take the plastic rod out before using. (Update: A reddit user recently made us aware that some of the more complex sleeve textures, such as the Destroya, are not shipped with the plastic rod inside. So if you order that type of sleeve and there is no plastic rod inside, don’t freak out.)

Material qualities and design

It feels substantial, solid, and hefty.

Fleshlight case in hand.

Hefty—weighing in at nearly 2 lbs., you could almost knock someone out with this thing. It feels premium—nice and solid.

Premium materials befitting the price

It’s kind of a shame to call these things “toys”. The plastic case alone is markedly above toy-grade plastic. It feels more like the kind of material that would be used in sporting goods which, as a guy, I think is kind of cool. It feels substantial, solid, and hefty. There is a top cap, which covers the entrance when not in use, and an end-cap for regulating air-tightness while using it and for cleaning when you’re done. Both caps twist on and off with relative precision. Overall, I was surprised by the size and the weight. I never really paid attention to anything on the site about dimensions or weight, but somehow I didn’t expect them to be this big or heavy. But, neither the size nor the weight are detractors. It actually makes the Fleshlight feel like a product befitting the price tag. In fact, something about the mass actually enhances the experience—further isolating your hand from the source of pleasure.

Yes, just feeling it with my fingers started to turn me on. Did that surprise me? A little.

The flexy-stretchy Fleshlight sleeve.

Seriously soft, seriously squishy. The Fleshlight sleeve is extremely flexible and stretchy.

The inner sleeve is very soft, silky, and supple to the touch. Just feeling it with my fingers started to turn me on. A lot of sex toys feature technologically intriguing designs but lack the characteristics of sensuality that can make them truly enticing. I was honestly expecting little more than a cold rubber vagina in a plastic cup. But the feel of the sleeve alone is pleasantly sensual and sexual. Just by feeling it with your fingers, you get a sense that putting your penis into this thing would be a very good idea. The list of non-human objects in the world that you can say that about is extremely short.

Overall, the design, the fit and and finish, and the materials are all excellent. It feels built to last. Though the verdict on whether or not the Fleshlight was truly worth $65 would have to wait until I could actually spend some time trying it out, my initial impressions were definitely positive.

Good design, but not exactly discreet

Good thing the giant pink jiggly vagina is hidden in a case. Now, hide the case in your underwear drawer.

What a Fleshlight looks like on a bedside table.

Uh, can you spot the Fleshlight in this picture? Okay, yeah…the only people who might mistake the Fleshlight for a flashlight are exactly the people who you DO NOT want to accidentally find your sex toy when the lights go out. But it’s still more discreet than a big floppy pink rubber vagina just sitting out on a table.

Need a more discrete Fleshlight?
Check out the Fleshlight Flight and our comparison review.

As part of my research for this project, I read and watched some interviews with the creators of the Fleshlight. The original thought behind the flashlight-shaped design was that this product of a very personal nature could be concealed in a toolbox and nosy visitors or family members would just think it was a regular flashlight…because all dudes have at least one flashlight laying around, right? Let’s be clear about something right off the bat. In these days of ultra bright micro-sized LED flashlights, the only people who might actually mistake your Fleshlight for a flashlight are exactly the people who you do not want to accidentally find your Fleshlight when the lights go out—people like your grandma, a cousin, a nephew, or a brand-new girlfriend.

Maybe it was considered discreet back in 1998, when the Fleshlight came on the market and hardly anyone knew about it, but now the Fleshlight’s design is somewhat iconic (in this realm, anyway). As far as its ability to camouflage is concerned, it’s really a victim of its own success. Anyone who has spent any time browsing even relatively vanilla adult entertainment and sexual resources on the internet probably knows a Fleshlight when he or she sees it. Plus, it’s pretty big. If it’s sitting out in a room, it will be noticed. So unless you live alone and never have friends or family visit you, keep your Fleshlight hidden in the back of your underwear drawer or something. Otherwise, you will be explaining it.

That having been said, the design actually makes sense. The diameter of the handle portion feels good in the hand and it can be propped between pillows or held down for humping. The wider third of it near the base adds substantial mass, which adds to the sensations you feel when you use it. The twist-off end caps and removable sleeve enable thorough cleaning and drying, as well as the ability to warm the sleeve in water without getting the case wet. Plus, if you want some variety, you can buy additional sleeves for less than the cost of a full Fleshlight case and sleeve, and just switch them out. This is great because once you try one, you’re going to be curious about some others.

Usage

Using a Fleshlight requires a little more prep than just pulling down your pants, but it’s worth it.

Opening a Fleshlight

“Dude…I figured out why your flashlight isn’t working.” You can just pop it open, add some lube and go, but if it’s cold, watch out! You might want to warm it.

To warm or not to warm

Update: Fleshlight has since released a new Fleshlight Warmer. Now, warming a Fleshlight is quicker, easier, and less messy. See our test of the Fleshlight Warmer here.

There’s really not much to the instructions other than the recommendation that you let the sleeve soak in warm water for a bit to bring it up to body temperature. Although doing so adds prep time and mess to what should be a fairly simple and spontaneous activity, it really does feel nice to start out with a nice warm sensation, especially if the Fleshlight has been stored someplace cold. In particular, if what you’re after is an experience that feels as close to the sensation of actual sex as possible, warming it in water is key to that experience. (If you really want to treat yourself, warm the lube as well.) However, you can get by without warming it if you’re in hurry or “realism” isn’t a priority, especially if you’re in a warm climate. The Fleshlight will warm up to your body temperature after a few minutes of use. I warmed the Fleshlight about 50% of the time and it does feel very nice. It definitely adds a dimension of sensation that you can’t experience with your own hand—or anyone’s hand, for that matter.

Lube—you’ll need it

Hopefully it’s obvious that you’ll need lube—quite a bit of lube over time, actually. Use only a quality water-based lubricant. The Fleshlights came with a couple of sample packets of the company’s own private label “Water” lube, but you will run through those after a couple of uses. It’s excellent though, so just include a bottle in your order. It has actually become our go-to lube for sex as well. Plus, I prefer just ordering it from Fleshlight now as opposed to buying lube at someplace like Target. I worry about what check-out girl is thinking when I wheel up with a plunger, a bag of potatoes, and a bottle of personal lubricant. I may write for a magazine about sex, but I don’t want the girls at Target to get the wrong idea about me.

If you take it slow, I found that just adding a bit of lubricant to the entry will get you started. Just be methodical as you move into it and twist a bit to make sure the lubricant spreads. Alternatively, if you want to be thorough, you can push the lubricant in with your finger and then apply some to yourself before starting. The amount of lubricant you’ll end up using during a session will depend on the internal texture of the sleeve, how long your session is, and your personal preference. More lube results in a less intense sensation, which is sometimes exactly what you want. But if you let it begin to dry out, it gets sticky and begins to drag. You’ll find your sweet spot, but start out moderate and add more as needed. But, do make sure you’ve got plenty of lube on hand. You don’t want to run out when you’re near the finish line.

The end cap adjusts resistance…and sound

Adjusting the end cap on the Fleshlight regulates air tightness.

Adjusting the end cap on the Fleshlight regulates air tightness.

As mentioned previously, there is an end-cap that can be tightened, loosened, or removed completely in order to adjust the air-tightness. When you are inside the Fleshlight, the sleeve forms a seal around your penis, and when the end cap is completely closed, you essentially create a vacuum. The result is a tight gripping/suction sensation as you begin to pull out. This creates quite a bit of resistance and, when you do pull out, a “suck” sound. Open the end cap halfway, and you get moderate resistance and very little sound as the cap slows the rate at which air can enter and exit the end of the Fleshlight when you stroke or thrust. Remove the cap completely and you feel very little resistance at all but you can hear the squishy sounds of the textures and lube at work. Personally, I found the cap half-way on to be the sweet spot, both in terms of the resistance and the sound. Quiet operation is key to discreet usage (if other people are at home), and squishy sounds take me out of my zone. With the cap half-way on, usage was nearly silent and the resistance felt natural. But, it’s a matter of personal preference and the fact that you can tailor your experience is really nice.

Usage—you can get creative

Usage may seem obvious at first, but there’s room for creativity. Sure, you can simply use it the same way you’d use your hand—with your arm providing the motion. Plus, not to give away too much of what we’ll cover in the section on sensations, you can try things like twisting it or rotating it for some really mind-bending sensations. You can also prop it between pillows or between your mattress and box springs (thanks to the strength of the case) and thrust into it, which adds to the experience if realism is what you’re after. This is the idea behind the Fleshlight mounts—little pieces of furniture designed to hold the Fleshlight for your humping enjoyment.

Fleshlights are even more fun to use with a partner

Solo masturbation may be the first thing you picture when you think of the Fleshlight, but a Fleshlight in the hands of a partner can also turn a hum-drum hand job into an amazing experience. And to be completely honest, the sensations of the Fleshlight rival or exceed all but the very best oral sex I’ve ever experienced. I read one woman write on a blog that she loves the Fleshlight because, as she said, “it’s like giving a hand job, but with super powers”. Sex toys, including the Fleshlight, are for far more than just masturbation. Incorporating toys into partner play is a great way to add some variety to your sex life.

Sensations—okay, time to get a little NSFW

Is the Fleshlight worth the money and the effort? In a word—yes.

The Fleshlight sleeve materials is soft, silky, and supple to the touch.

Your hand, or this? Are you even stopping to think about it?

After spending some time with two Fleshlights, I have to say that I not only feel like they’re worth the money, I’d pay even more now that I know what they can do. The Fleshlight makes you feel things that you simply cannot experience with your own hand—or anyone else’s hand, for that matter. Whether it’s just you enjoying some solo time or incorporating toy play with a partner, it is total luxury. But what, exactly, makes it so good?

The softness

Wow…yeah, that’s really, really nice.

Detail of the Fleshlight sleeve entry.

Oh…wow! That is nice. So much nicer than your hand—the Fleshlight sleeve feels silky, soft, and supple. Very nice.

For starters, there’s the softness of the sleeve. The company calls it SuperSkin and guards it with several patents. A bony, calloused hand cannot compare to the silkiness and suppleness of the sleeve material. It feels about as soft and luxurious as you can imagine, stopping just short (maybe) of what a vagina actually feels like. As odd as it may sound, the first time I felt the sensation of sliding in, my first thought was literally, “oh wow, this feels like it was made for a penis”. Sounds weird, right? I guess I was just expecting it to feel like a rubber tube, but that’s really the sense that you get—that this material was scientifically engineered specifically to deliver exactly the kind of silky soft contact you crave to feel. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

More contact means more pleasure

Stretchy—form-fitting for total 360 degree contact and stimulation.

The stretchy material fits you like a glove.

Fit’s like a glove, but even closer. The stretchy material form-fits the contours of your penis to make total, 360-degree contact. That means more stimulation. Your hand can’t do that.

The Fleshlight sleeve stretches to completely surround and engulf you. In contrast to your hand, which can only make contact with 50% to 70% of the surface area of your penis at once, the Fleshlight sleeve form-fits to hug every contour and inch of your penis—from the head to the base, 360 degrees around. What this means is more total contact and therefore far more happy nerve endings are stimulated at once, sending even more pleasure signals to your brain with every movement. At times, every inch of your penis is receiving stimulation. Whereas with your hand, you’re either making contact with the top half or the bottom half at any given time (give or take some coverage depending on your body proportions). So in effect, it’s like cranking the pleasure volume up from 6 to 11.

The textures cause sensations you didn’t know were possible

This is where the magic happens.

A peek inside the Fleshlight Wonder Wave

So, what’s going on inside there? The different textures are like different “flavors” of pleasure. Here’s a peek inside the Wonder Wave. This is kind of an odd view, but it’s the best we could do without cutting it open…and I say “hell no” to that.

Across the various Fleshlight product lines, there are over 40 different sleeve textures to choose from, and these textures open up a completely new dimension for users in terms of sexual sensation. They’re sort of like “flavors” of pleasure. Each one makes you feel different things—new things. It’s as true that variety is the spice of life when it comes to sexual enjoyment as it is true for anything else. And, once you’ve tried one, you’re going to wonder what new sensations you might experience with a different texture. So, choose wisely.

For this review I chose two…the Wonder Wave and the Mini Lotus, plus, I snuck in an early test of a bonus sleeve, the Vortex, that will be covered in a future article. These are just three. If the description of any of these sounds like something you want to try, go for it. Otherwise, look at the site yourself and see what gets you curious.

The Wonder Wave

The wonderful Wonder Wave is their best-selling sleeve texture, and I can understand why.

The Wonder Wave sleeve

The texture names are monogrammed on the ends of the sleeves so you can pick and choose from your collection. WW stands for Wonder Wave, and it is indeed wonderful.

See inside the Wonder Wave texture.

Learn more about the Wonder Wave texture and see inside at Fleshlight.com.

According to the site, the Wonder Wave is the company’s best selling texture and a favorite among first-time buyers, so clearly this one had to be included. The “waves” are created by tighter rings or ribs that are spaced about a half-inch apart and run all the way through the sleeve. I can understand why it’s their best selling sleeve. Especially if used very, very slowly, the sensation can be breathtaking. As two or three waves are engulfing the head of the penis, another couple are gliding down the frenulum, while four or five more are hugging the sweet spot along the bottom of the shaft…all at the same time. Just as two waves are moving off the head and onto the frenulum, you feel two more waves of pleasure rolling over the head. You know that amazing feeling that you get when you first enter during sex? It’s like a more subtle version of that sensation, but over and over again, repeated every half inch as you push in.

This was my first Fleshlight experience (and my first sex toy experience) and it explained a lot as far as why it’s so popular and why people like sex toys in general. Up until this point, masturbation had always just been about getting off—it was all about just getting to the orgasm and then falling asleep, or eating breakfast, or whatever. But the Fleshlight makes it all about the process of getting there. I tried to make it last as long as I could. I really wanted to hold off on the orgasm for a while and enjoy what I was feeling with the Fleshlight, because when it’s just my hand, the “getting there” is just ho-hum. But, it felt so good, I shamefully couldn’t last more than a few minutes.

The Wonder Wave was pleasantly intense and gave me an experience far more immersive and satisfying than any experience I’ve ever had on my own. With that intensity though, comes an unexpected effect during the orgasm. As a guy, you know (or if you’re a woman reading this, let it be known) that the head of the penis becomes incredibly sensitive at the moment an orgasm occurs. There’s a natural reason for this—nature wants you to be as far inside your partner as possible at the time of ejaculation, and to stay there throughout the orgasm, so that the sperm have less distance to travel to fertilize an egg. Interesting, right? But when you’re inside a Fleshlight, the sensation can be so overwhelming that you end up having to hold still and stop moving the Fleshlight during the orgasm. That’s one point where the hand has an advantage—you can continue to stimulate during your orgasm by just avoiding the head. I’ve read that a lot of guys prefer to pull out of the Fleshlight before the orgasm hits and finish with their hands for this reason. I did this several times, but I felt like I missed out on the satisfaction of cumming inside of something, which I thought was part of the point of the Fleshlight. It’s not a deal killer because the build-up to the orgasm is so amazing compared to the hand, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s a design solution that would make it possible to continue stimulation during the orgasm. The effect was less so with the Lotus texture. Regardless, the orgasms were stronger and more satisfying than what I’d typically achieve with my hand, so it’s still a success. And is there really a such thing as a bad orgasm?

The Mini Lotus

They say it’s their “most realistic” texture. It feels a lot more like sex than your hand does, that’s for sure.

Mini Lotus Fleshlight sleeve.

The Mini Lotus is total sweetness. You can see a slight imperfection on this particular sleeve, but so far it hasn’t caused any problem. This end of it doesn’t see much action.

See the inside of the Mini Lotus on Fleshlight.com.

Learn more: See the inside of the Mini Lotus.

The Mini Lotus is a shorter version of the regular Lotus, which Fleshlight claims is their most realistic feeling sleeve. By shorter, they mean that the texture starts earlier towards the entry than the full-size Lotus. This is so that most (average size) guys can feel the texture sooner than later as they push in. Rather than a tight, evenly spaced texture, the inside of the sleeve is made up of undulating contours and folds. Though I didn’t pull out my anatomy textbooks (again, you don’t want to take your sex toys too seriously), the design certainly looked more organic and natural than most of the sleeve designs, including the only one I had to compare it to—the Wonder Wave. Feeling the inside with my finger was very enticing—promising a very interesting sensation, if not super realistic. Using it, however, I didn’t really perceive the same contours that I felt with my finger until a minute or so before the orgasm. I perceived more of the softness of the material than anything else, and that’s not a bad thing at all. The fact that the sensation was more mild than the Wonder Wave meant that I could actually indulge in the “getting there” part of it much longer.

But does the Mini Lotus feel like “the real thing”?

Just about anyone who has heard of the Fleshlight wants to know whether or not it feels like “the real thing”. We’re going to do an entire article addressing the matter, but since the Mini Lotus is touted as the most realistic Fleshlight in their lineup, here’s my impression. Compared to the Wonder Wave and the one other I’ve tried, the Vortex, the Mini Lotus is definitely the most natural and realistic feeling among them. Looking at some of the other texture designs, many of which look far more exotic than both the Wonder Wave and the Vortex, I’d venture to guess that the company is shooting straight with us—it’s probably the most realistic. But does it feel real? Well, it feels a hell of a lot more like sex than your hand does, that’s for sure. It’s far easier to fantasize about actual sex when you’re using a Fleshlight than when you’re using your hand, because a hand feels nothing at all like sex. The Fleshlight feels close enough that you can have a much more immersive fantasy/experience than you can with your hand. And, of the Fleshlights you could pick, if realism is your goal, the Mini Lotus is the one you want.

The Vortex

The Fleshlight Vortex texture.

Explore the Vortex texture in detail at Fleshlight.com.

The Vortex wasn’t originally part of this deep dive review project, but it arrived in time to check it out before this article was to be published. Curious about how this wildly different texture stacked up against the other two that I had tried, I couldn’t resist adding it the mix. And “wildly different” is a good description. Though it’s still not as exotic looking as some of the textures, such as the Stoya, it’s quite a bit more complex than either the Wonder Wave or the Mini Lotus.

Realism is definitely not the goal of the Vortex. It was created to make you feel something you’ve never felt before. It combines both contours and textures. Whereas the Wonder Wave maintains roughly the same diameter the whole length of the sleeve, the Vortex narrows and expands strategically in just the right spots to create a subtle squeezing sensation as you move through. That alone is quite exciting and nice, but as if that wasn’t enough, there is also a twirling, zig-zag texture that also draws you in and swirls around your head and shaft. It feels absolutely amazing. When I saw the swirling texture I wondered what it would feel like to twist and rotate the Fleshlight. I tried it. It feels unreal in a good way. Rotating the Vortex Fleshlight while you’re all the way inside feels like it activates pretty much every nerve ending in your penis at once—sending your brain into la-la land. I never imagined that my eyes could roll backwards in my head while doing something on my own.

I’m actually kind of glad that I didn’t try the Vortex first. I’m not sure I would have been that interested in the other ones after getting hooked on that swirling/squeezing sensation. But, progressing from mild to wild, I had a better perspective on what the different textures had to offer. It is truly a breath-taking sensation, but if you’re considering your first Fleshlight, I’d go with with either the Wonder Wave or Mini Lotus first. They feel amazing as well and I wouldn’t rush through the discovery.

The case actually contributes to the experience

It’s also worth mentioning that the Fleshlight case does a lot more than just hold the sleeve and provide camoflaged protection during storage. It’s actually integral the the physical and cerebral experience. In terms of its contribution to the sensation, the case suspends the sleeve and provides a solid surface for the pliable material to push against. This provides that just-right amount of resistance that adds a dimension to the sensation that your hand can’t create. Secondly, in terms of the cerebral experience, it causes a disconnect between your hand and your penis. Your hand is no longer directly causing the stimulation. This is exciting because it adds a subtle element of surprise. Your penis/brain combo aren’t able to anticipate the flow of sensations quite as efficiently as it can when your hand is in the middle of the loop. This is why it feels more exciting and initially pleasurable when someone else touches you than when you touch yourself. The Fleshlight gives you a little bit of that same goodness even when it’s just you alone.

Sensation summary

Using the Fleshlight was like rediscovering my penis all over again. I’m no stranger to really great sex, and I thought I knew my body pretty well, but the Fleshlight really woke up pleasure receptors I didn’t even know I had. And it’s certainly a much more immersive solo experience than I’ve ever had with my own hand, that’s for sure. The Fleshlight could be called an “artificial vagina”, but to just leave it at that is like calling a Ferrari a “car” and just shrugging. Ironically, this artificial vagina felt like a far more natural and healthy way of masturbating than my hand does. Every time I used one of these Fleshlights, afterwards I felt like I had done something really good and nice for myself. With my hand, it’s just like, “well, that’s done”.

Cleanup and care

Cleanup is simple. Drying it is another story.

Cleaning the Fleshlight

Cleaning it easy—just run warm water through it. But then it needs to sit out and dry.

If you’ve made it this far into this review (we did mention this was a “deep dive”, right?), you may be wondering by now if there is a downside to the Fleshlight, other than embarrassment if it rolls out of your closet when your friends are over. Well, if you want something more exciting than your hand, it’s reasonable to expect that there’s going to be more effort and clean-up involved than what you contend with when it’s just you and your hand. And there is.

Cleaning—don’t use soap. Seriously.

If you’re a clean freak, this is going to drive you absolutely crazy. To clean out the Fleshlight when you’re done, you simply take the sleeve out of the case, run water through it, and rinse out lubricant and any “deposits” you may have left behind. And that’s it. You absolutely cannot use soap to clean the Fleshlight. The site warns repeatedly that soaps and detergents break down the composition of the sleeve material and it will begin to come apart. And no, you can’t put it in the dishwasher. Not only would that be hella creepy, it will destroy it. Trust us. There are pictures on the internet. But don’t let this be a deal breaker. First, in trying the practice of just using water, they really did get clean. Matter doesn’t really stick to the material once water hits it. And, if you really want to be sure it’s squeaky clean, just be sure to get some of Fleshlight’s antibiotic cleaning spray. It will set your mind at ease.

Drying after cleaning is critical, but it takes too long

Drying the Fleshlight.

Hours or days…after washing, it’s a matter of airflow and humidity as far as how long it will take to dry. It could be an hour, or it could be days.

Although the cleaning isn’t a big deal, drying it after cleaning it may be a different story depending on your situation. Contingent on the humidity, temperature, and airflow where you leave the Fleshlight to dry, it can take a very long time for the inside of the Fleshlight sleeves to dry out completely, especially inside the sleeves that feature complex shapes and textures that can hang on to drops of water. The second fastest way to destroy a Fleshlight and render it uselessly gross, next to using soap to clean it, is to seal up the case with a damp sleeve inside and store it where air doesn’t circulate. Mildew will develop in the sleeve just like mildew will develop on just about anything damp stored away in a dark, stuffy area.

The problem is that if humidity is high, the temperature low, and airflow non-existent, it can literally take days to dry out. If the humidity is low and the temperature is warm, but there is no airflow, the drying time goes down to 12-24 hours. If the air is relatively warm and dry and you add airflow, such as a ceiling fan, the drying time shortens to a couple of hours. But still, if you are not in a situation where you are comfortable leaving your Fleshlight out for whatever duration is needed to make sure it’s dry before storage, such as having roommates, nosy family members, kids, friends dropping by, or even just a significant other who is insecure about you having a Fleshlight, this obviously presents a problem and seriously limits the frequency of usage and the spontaneity of using it.

The only quick option I could figure out was to use a hair dryer to speed drying time to a few minutes, but randomly cranking up a hair dryer and running it for five minutes isn’t exactly discreet either. I don’t even know any guys who use hair dryers. So drying the Fleshlight is the number one shortcoming (if not the only shortcoming) of the Fleshlight. We really wish the Fleshlight company would address the matter with some sort of drying solution—maybe a stand or end cap with a quiet fan, or some sort of ventilated lock box.

According to numerous accounts I’ve read online, if you take care of the FL—clean it with water and antibiotic spray only, and make sure it’s bone dry before you store it—it should last for years, which is nice to know given the price. And based on the quality feel of the materials and the design, I have no to reason to doubt it. So far, so good for me.

What’s the Fleshight Renewing Powder all about?

After numerous uses, when the sleeve dries out it can begin to become a bit sticky to the touch. If you want to restore it to near-factory new condition and softness, you can coat and pat it with the Fleshlight brand Renewing Powder. If your going to be using the Fleshlight nearly every day, it’s probably not worth the effort or the mess. But, it’s nice for first impressions when you go a while between using it and come back to rediscover it. So, if you will be packing the Fleshlight away for a week at a time or longer, you might appreciate pulling it out and finding it to be as soft and nice as they day you got it. Truth be told though, the renewing powder is simply corn starch. It actually says so on the Renewing Powder label. For me personally, however, it just feels a little strange to sprinkle something from the kitchen pantry onto a sex toy. So, I pay a $2 premium and get the “renewing powder” just so I’m not walking around in the kitchen with a Fleshlight, looking for ingredients to dump on it. A man’s got to draw the line on “weird” somewhere.

Bottom line

I can’t believe I waited so long to try a Fleshlight. I should have bought one the day I turned 18.

Buy direct at Fleshlight.com

Explore and Build Your Own Fleshlight directly from Fleshlight.com

Sexually speaking, the FL is probably the most fun and pleasure you can experience on your own, not to mention an incredible upgrade to a run-of-the-mill hand job from a partner. Depending on the texture you choose, it can introduce you to sensations you never knew were possible. It does things that your hand just can’t. If you’ve been thinking, “why spend over $50 when my hand is free”, this is definitely a case of “you get what you pay for”. As far as realism goes, all you really need to know is that it feels far more like sex than your hand ever will, and it feels similar enough that whatever is going through your head when you masturbate becomes thoroughly immersive and more exciting. Everything else is just jerking off. The only downside that I experienced is that the long post-cleanup drying process means you have to leave it out for a while—which means you could end up having an awkward conversation about it with someone if you aren’t careful.

Despite the fact that I’m writing for a magazine about sex, I’m actually somewhat vanilla and conservative when it comes to my own personal sex life. So, I started out a little hesitant to go through with the purchase of the Fleshlight, and I was a little skeptical of what it could do—expecting little more than a rubber tube. But in the end, I can’t believe I waited so long to try a Fleshlight. I am hooked and I actually feel good about it. I feel good about every time I use it, in fact. You should do nice things for yourself now and then. You deserve it. Go for it and don’t look back.

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66 Responses

  1. Kim says:

    When will your next Stoya Fleshlight review coming ?

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Hopefully next month. There’s a backlog of articles being finished and I hope to get the Destroya review started in early July. Thanks for your interest!

  2. Dave says:

    “Oh shit, I just bought a Fleshlight.” —me, one second after hitting the order button.

    Started to laugh so hard. This was exactly how I felt like after placing my order. It’s my first fleshlight, still on the way. After reading your review, I can hardly wait!

  3. Simon says:

    I wanted to buy for the first time one fleshlight but I’m thinking from much time but I have plenty of choice there are multiply on site fleshlight and on amazon; among those classics originals, STU,
    I can build even I so saving; It can also go in the future for new feature fleshlight launch(ad example i trasmit on site example cam4-chaturbate), or those of famous pornstars etc .
    There are also multiply textures which is better what is more realistic. somesites on the internet says texas tornados instead site fleshlight says wonder wave but do not know which one is right for me also because I am uncut and I have a downward curvature and a little to the left and my penis is 17/18/19 cm in length with 13/14/15 in circumference So what do I recommend for me fleshlight? thanks a lot pls ty very much for help and information okok byebye

    P.S .: especially many reviews on amazon say the sleeves after a few uses breaks(tears) and then how to do but it’s true?

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Thanks for the comment. First, I’d recommend buying direct from Fleshlight.com if you can, or at least make sure you’re shopping from the official Fleshlight Store on Amazon if you’re going to go the Amazon route. There are a lot of fake rip-off look-a-like products on Amazon in that category and your question about Amazon reviews saying the sleeves tear after a few uses really illustrates that fact. After numerous uses, I’ve found tears on genuine Fleshlight products to be extremely rare.

      As for a recommendation, I think the best first purchase is one called the Mini Lotus. It’s a more natural/realistic sensation and it feels amazing. It’s also one of the easiest to clean and quickest to dry. It is available via the Build Your Own tool with a full-size case, and it will indeed fit in the new Fleshlight Launch. I can tell you that for sure because I’ve tried it. I’m working on the Launch review right now and the Mini Lotus is the one I’m choosing to use with it most often.

      • simon says:

        ok ty for respost and for my cock and for my problem there is not problem for fleshlight? because I am uncut and I have a downward curvature and to the left and i am yet a virgin i have only 20 years old! 🙂

  4. joe says:

    I’m thinking of getting a FL in order to solve my stamina issues. Do you think this is a realistic approach? Simply having lots of sex with my wife isn’t an option, as her interest is almost nil, thus my stamina is almost nil, too.

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Yes! I’ve definitely noticed a lot more control since becoming a regular Fleshlight user, and I haven’t even been using the one they specifically market for stamina training (the STU). Just having routine access to that kind of feeling frequently really helps out. It’s like the difference between being in shape for running vs. walking. There are still exciting aspects of sex that will continue to be a challenge regardless—the feel of body-to-body contact, the excitement of another person sharing the experience and reacting, etc., but I’ve found regular usage of a Fleshlight helps to at least keep me from being completely and immediately overwhelmed by the sheer amount of genital-level pleasure going on down there right out of the gate.

  5. Jam says:

    I missed the V-day promo… 🙁 Do you think there will be another one coming up?

    • In Bed Staff says:

      First, there is a President’s Day Sale still going on as of 2/25. Not sure how long that will last. Next, we’ll soon post a more complete historical guide to their sales. Stay tuned. Thanks for visiting!

  6. Joe says:

    Nice review, thanks.

    I’m just wondering if one could use this toy also to correct the penis curvature. When you use it, will the toy keep your penis straight or will the penis keep its original form? I was also thinking about the tight sleeve, maybe it could help, what do you thing? I think that if the elastic sleeve is strong enough, it could work.

    I know about the jelqing exercises, but they are too boring and once I slightly burned myself, nothing severe though. Most of the times I won’t finish them as it should. The excitation level is too high and I can’t content myself.

    • In Bed Staff says:

      I have not read anything anywhere about Fleshlights helping with curvature correction but I really don’t know much about the topic. I took a look at some products that claim to help with the issue and based on what I saw, I don’t think a Fleshlight offers the precise rigidity or tiered sections that seem to be unique to products that are made to correct curvatures. The sleeves themselves are so flexible and stretchy that I don’t think that even the Super Tight sleeve would have any impact.

  7. Mike says:

    I’m curious of your thoughts in regard towards buying flashlights modelled after porn actresses.

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Specifically, you’d be referring to the Girls Series Fleshlights? Actually, the next Fleshlight-related article planned for In Bed Magazine is a comparison of a Destroya sleeve with the generic lady entry vs. the Stoya Destroya, so I’ll be looking at the matter in…uh, a bit more detail within the next few months so see if there is much difference in the material or sensation. Conceptually though, I think there are a couple things to consider that could make them worth the extra bit of money for some people, and something to be avoided for others.

      On the one hand, visual and mental turn-ons can amplify what we feel physically. And if you either have a thing for a specific star or if the appearance of a certain vulva excites you, I think that’s going to translate into a more sensual and immersive experience. Likewise, I could see how a more realistic tactile feel to the fingers could also amplify the excitement and help you more easily lose yourself in a fantasy.

      But on the other hand, I can see how some guys who are in relationships might not feel comfortable having a realistic and identifiable model around, especially if their significant other feels insecure about it. In fact, I’m pretty sure we’ve had some comments or questions via our form or on some of our Fleshlight-related article pages from guys saying that they specifically wanted a non-anatomical model because their wives or girlfriends just weren’t cool with there being another vagina in the house. Though, I’ve read some guys say that they specifically like the Girls models because it does make them feel like they’re doing something naughty—having a little side thing, but without really cheating.

      And for others, Fleshlights are just all about the sensation and the visual doesn’t matter at all. For them, the premium for the Girls series could be better spent on some lube.

      What about you? What are your your thoughts about the Girls series? Is there anything in particular you’d like to see addressed in the Destroya vs. Stoya Destroya article or any ideas for related articles?

      Thanks, and great question!

      • syemun says:

        The Girls Series of FL are far more realistic in appearance and to the touch, a mind blowing texture, significantly enhancing the pleasure of the overall experience.

        And because it’s the closest you can get to a real living vagina, a guy can enjoy himself without confessing to an affair. LOL

        • In Bed Staff says:

          Coming soon: A blindfold comparison of a Pink Lady Destroya vs. the Girls series Stoya Destroya. I’ve got both in a box, just need to find the time to break them out. Thanks for the comment!

  8. Eddie says:

    If you realy want to cut down on cleaning your silicon girlfriend then use a condom. This has the added advantage that she won’t get pregnant either.

  9. Chris says:

    I got my Flight today. I tried it out. A few hours later I had to try it again because I couldn’t believe how good it actually was. This article is spot on in every detail. I am older and alone, so drying time isn’t an issue for me. Seriously, that is the only downside. Clean up is a breeze, so is care and maintenance. The feeling is incredible and worth the cost. I am a normal conservative person, never thought I would own anything like this. I honestly have to say this was a great article that led me to a great purchase. If you are “on the fence” about this I recommend pulling the trigger!

    • In Bed Staff says:

      “I am a normal conservative person, I never thought I would own anything like this,” is how a lot of people feel about it at first, myself included, but that’s one of the things we wanted to show with articles like this—that the stigmas and assumptions that some people still believe about sex toys, especially sex toys for men, and the people who use them are just not true. They can really contribute to a healthy sex life, whether single or partnered, and nobody should feel anything but good about enjoying them. You like and enjoy sexual things because you are a normal person. Thanks for the comment! You help illustrate the point and a lot of people who read this article find reassurance in comments like yours.

  10. Tony says:

    Great article, was looking for more information than the website even seemed to give, and your article delivered. You deserve the sales created from your article, because it is easy to see you put a lot of time and effort into describing this product. Cheers.

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Thank you very much for the comment! That is exactly what we want people to get from the article and it’s really great to know that it’s helping people to feel informed and comfortable about choosing to get a Fleshlight. Cheers back to you.

  11. Roxanne says:

    I just ordered the buy 2 get 1 free for my hubs. He doesnt know and I cant wait to see his face when I show him. I am pregnant with baby #9 and want to spice things up a bit. We really have a great sex life and I cant complain at all but a little extra boost never hurts. I am in a sex mood slump, probably from hormones being crazy, but it does not stop me from getting busy!! We just spent around $100 on toys for me (which I honestly don’t enjoy all that much right now) and got a free stroker for him but he didnt enjoy it. He says it was too tight. We arent ones to get the job done alone so I get to watch and help, which really excites me. If I get time, Ill come back and let you all know how things went.

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Awesome! I think I speak for practically all guys when I say, “you are an awesome wife”. And yes, sex toys can really help out during pregnancies. Did you notice our article titled, “How we kept sex going after we started a family”? Granted, at #9, you’re ahead of us, but we’d certainly be interested in a followup from you. If a couple can keep it going strong through 8 kids and counting, that’s great inspiration, and I think the way you’re thinking is definitely an indication of the type of mutually supportive attitude that it takes to keep it going. Cheers, and thanks for the comment!

      Also, congratulations on your growing family.

    • Roxanne says:

      Wow! It has been awesome playing with the toys! That sounds funny to me but I enjoy involving them. It really helps get me in the mood and I dont feel left out when hes using it. Not to give TMI, but I like it when he uses it without the case and pulls the sleeve down far enough that his head pops out of the end while stroking. I have not used it on him, Im usually doing other things to him or I just watch for a bit before we do other stuff.

      Sex over the years has had its ups and downs especially with so many kids but its important to keep it going strong. Sometimes after a long day of mothering it is the only way we connect. I just need a good O and some sleep and of course he doesnt complain!
      Thanks for a good article and I hope my comments will help other women who may be considering toys for their husband.
      I will go check out that other article you mentioned. Thanks again.

  12. Matt S says:

    I have been pondering the idea of one of these and what they were like. However, after reading this article I’ve decided to place an order. I was worried about being discreet with everything. My only thing was wondering if they would send out mailing or anything like that. Did anyone have a problem with that? Well now I’m just going to have to wait.

    • In Bed Staff says:

      I’ve done four orders through the Fleshlight website and have never received anything in the mail from them other than the packages. I did opt in for their emails by specifically and consciously checking a box that gave them permission to send them, and over the past couple of years, I’ve only received one or two emails. So, I imagine as long as you don’t opt in, you should be good in terms of e-mail, and I wouldn’t expect anything to come via snail mail. They seem to be very conscious of the sensitivity people have to the nature of the product.

  13. jmyklscot says:

    “Dude…I figured out why your flashlight isn’t working.” Good god, man…that is hilarious. Our son is 4 weeks old and keeping us up all night, and after an intense C section, sex is off the table for a while. The wife is awesome and very accommodating with the oral, but I miss the sensation of the real deal. Been seriously considering this, and she is very open (to the point of me enjoying other women even!) but my focus is the family at the moment. Great article, well written, informative, and funny to boot. Just found your site, and I look forward to coming back for more. (pun intended!) Cheers

    • In Bed Staff says:

      First, major congratulations on becoming a dad! It is an amazing experience. Having two very little ones now myself, I’m here to tell you it’s absolutely awesome, but it really can make sex a challenge for at least a little while. And here’s something nobody tells you before you become a parent—regular sexual release makes you a far more patient, understanding, and kind parent than you would be otherwise. If my wife and I can sneak it in early in the morning before the kids wake up, we are like super Mom and super Dad all day long. Spill some milk, break some shit, scream about nothing…whatever, it’s all good—Mom and Dad are happy and full of smiles.

      Making it happen is the challenge for a variety of reasons, of course, and you and your wife have some extra obstacles in front of you here at the start. But, it sounds like you two have exactly the kind of flexible and supportive attitudes that will allow you to continue to be great lovers as you become great parents. Jason Good wrote a book titled, “This is Ridiculous This is Amazing: Parenthood in 71 Lists“. Among those lists is one called “Things you will no longer need when you become a parent”—among them are your cool leather jacket, travel books, anything made of glass, and sex toys. Obviously that last one jumped out at me. As funny as that all is, the fact of the matter is that for many couples, after starting a family is actually the perfect time to consider sex toys.

      It’s sort of one our core tenets for In Bed Magazine that we each own our own sex lives individually and what makes relationships special is not that we become responsible for each other’s sexual fulfillment, but that we share our sex lives with each other, support each other’s sexual interests, and mutually participate in each other’s sexual enjoyment. You looking into a Fleshlight is you continuing to take responsibility for your sexual needs in a way that respects your relationship, and your wife supporting and encouraging you is her continuing to participate in your sexual enjoyment. This is how couples keep their sex lives going against all odds.

      You might also enjoy a couple of our other articles about keeping it going. Check out How to stay intimate when life gets in the way of sex. There will come a time in the not too distant future when you’ll have an opportunity to repay your wife for the sexual support she’s showing to you now. Here’s a tip: If she doesn’t have a vibrator now, get one when she’s fully recoverd…and here’s the important part—make sure it is always charged and ready to go, and remember to take the kids out of the house and give her some alone time now and then.

      See also How we kept sex going after starting a familiy.

      Thanks for the comment and best of luck to you, your wife, and your new family in all departments!

  14. VDB says:

    After reading this article, I’m in and I do mean in.

  15. yen says:

    I got hold of 1 of these recently and are they something. I’ve had worse sex than what these can do. A gf once said that a vibrator can give you great orgasms but the feeling with another person is that bit more special! I’m at a ‘dry’ point in life and you point out that is great for this or of your partner is occupied with children etc..

    In all honesty its good if not great BUT it doesn’t remove the feel and touch of a human, in my case what I’m looking for a woman and only makes me seek that more as the whole embodiment of a lady is better than this but this is a good temporary situation.

    • In Bed Staff says:

      You’re right—there are so many more sensory pleasures happening during sex beyond just what goes on at the genital level, that a sex toy is hardly a full replacement for the glory of sharing your body with someone you like, love, and/or care about. But, they’re still pretty awesome. I think of it sort of like grabbing a burger is to sitting down for a full steak dinner. Yeah, the steak dinner is the pinnacle, but in real life, people don’t eat steak dinners three times a day, seven days a week—but they still have to eat. So, a burger is pretty good for a quick meal (whether alone or with a friend).

      Thanks for the comment!

  16. Tom says:

    does the website accept visa gift cards?

    • In Bed Staff says:

      I’ve read that suggestion many times, Tom, but we’ve never tried it. Perhaps next time we order a product from them to review, we just might try using a Visa Gift Card to see how the process goes. Thanks for the question. We’ll ping you back when we do that. There are a couple of Fleshlight-related things we hope to cover in the coming year.

  17. Tom says:

    Can you use visa gift cards on that website?

    • In Bed Staff says:

      I’ve read that suggestion many times, Tom, but we’ve never tried it. Perhaps next time we order a product from them to review, we just might try using a Visa Gift Card to see how the process goes. Thanks for the question. We’ll ping you back when we do that. There are a couple of Fleshlight-related things we hope to cover in the coming year.

  18. carlos says:

    great review i just got my fleshlight today and wow it was awesome i recommend it to every guy who is still thinking about it.

  19. Romero says:

    When will you be reviewing the Quickshot? I have always wanted a Fleshlight but seems like everyone is saying that it is a nuisance to clean so the Quickshot seems to be the best bet for someone like me

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Hey there! We did recently feature the Quickshot and yes, it is a LOT easier to clean and dry. It’s got a few other advantages, as well. (And, it’s got few disadvantages compared to the regular Fleshlights too.) You can check out our full article here:

      http://www.inbedmagazine.com/fleshlight-quickshot-comparison-review/

      Let us know here or in the comments in the other article if you have any questions. We’re always totally up revisiting a topic.

      Thanks for the comment.

  20. To thigt? Stuff the Cartridge says:

    I bought one, the Jenna Haze Vagina Version . First i was amazed how the Material feels, but i was kinda unhappy with the Thightness. Then i got the idea: Insted of buying a tighter one i just could use some Toilettpaper and stick it in the Cartridge, now its way better but you need some extra Preperations. I still think its a good Toy and it feels almost exactly like a real Vagina. Now im better with talking to Babes because on the second thought im like: Meh its not way better then me and my Toy.Dose not give you Hugs though…

  21. Matt says:

    Great article. I’ve been thinking about one of these for ages. Now Very keen to buy one and try it out. Have a major problem of which one to choose. Did you ever try using s condom to help out with clean up?

    • In Bed Staff says:

      There are so many to choose from, it can definitely be overwhelming. Personally, if I were to recommend a first one, I’d say the Mini-Lotus or the Wonder Wave. Either one is such a major upgrade over your hand and you can always step up to something more wild in the future if you want. I know that I’ve found that once you try one, you get curious about what some others feel like. That’s one of the cool things about them—guiltless sexual objectification.

      As for using a condom with one, I didn’t try it, but it’s an interesting idea and I’ve read where other guys have suggested it. And although I haven’t tried it myself, I have recommended that guys who have trouble maintaining an erection while using a condom during sex—either due to it psychologically turning them off or due to a perceived reduction of sensation—try using condoms with a Fleshlight routinely as a form of practice to become more comfortable with condoms, and to work on “finding” the sensation through them. I guess I should actually try that one out myself to know better what I’m talking about. One more thing to put on the schedule. 🙂 If you try it, please come back and let us and other readers know what you think!

      Thanks a bunch for the comment!

  22. Peter Babcock says:

    Just received my fleshlight today and will be trying it out in a few days since I have company in my room at the present. I too had recriminations and changes of heart a few times before pulling the trigger and making the purchase. Your article was really great and made me wished I had bought the wave or vortex sleeves. However I got the barracuda and I hope it works. I have no trouble with getting hard but have a time staying hard and getting to orgasm, at least by hand I do. I Sure hope this works better. INF owes you big time!

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Thanks for the comment! Come back and share your experience if you feel like it—both your experience with the Fleshlight as well as how things are going with the erection issue. Hearing from other guys beyond just what is in the article is very helpful to other guys who were/are in your position.

  23. Jack says:

    My penis keeps banging against the back of the fleshlight, is my penis to big?

    • In Bed Staff says:

      “Oh no, my penis is too big,” said no guy ever.

      So, do you mean too big for the Fleshlight? Sounds like it. Have you tried taking the end cap off? It may just be the cruel hand that life has dealt you. 🙂

  24. Youssef says:

    What more can I say about Fleshlight. This is one of the best and interesting article about fleshlight review. It is really straight to Point. Thoug, I have gotten 4 types but this review made me thinking of more as extra! Lol. Keep the good job up.

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Thanks for the comment! Variety is the spice of life, they say. And these things seem to add some spice for sure.

  25. Leon says:

    I’ve just posted this (it’s awaiting “moderation” – not something I often do, personally, as I’m sure you can tell) – and it occurred to me that since the NHS (the British National Health Service) give new mothers a “new mother pack” full of crap chemicals that you wouldn’t put any where near a new born – petrol based shampoo and stuff – our government could spend a little less on the gratuitous killing of brown people in countries that it has no business interfering with and include a selection of Fleshlights for new dads.

    Now that, to me is a valid use of lobbying politicians.

  26. Leon says:

    Having discovered that two babies really kills your sex life and that the constant rounds of getting up and breastfeeding, tires the wife out so much that sex is very rarely on the agenda, she saw my pain and asked whether there wasn’t a male sex toy I could buy to get me through the “baby bit”.

    Having used an Aneros to map my Kegel muscles to my conscious brain, so that I could train them for Tantric sex – multiple orgasms, without ejaculating (which is amazing and well worth my three years of persistence) – I knew that there was no point in one of those. Then I thought about all the vibrating things and how they just mess up my vibe (well, the women’s ones do, when I’m being sucked and stroked up and down the shaft with one), the only alternative, then, was a Fleshlight. Pricey.

    The day after my wife’s suggestion I was in Soho, browsing the sex shops and a very helpful lady talked me through the Fleshlights she had on display.

    The one’s moulded from real women, brought up the thought that it smacked of being unfaithful (I know, call me weird but that was the thought and I wanted full approval from the wife, for joint play in the future and not “meh”). The vibe one was out, as I mentioned above, so I was left with bums and Ice. Since I’m not really into bums, I plumped for the see-through Ice model.

    Returning home, the wife and I inspected it, while the kids were occupied and we both thought the texture of it was rather wonderful but a bit creepy at the same time.

    That night, while she was putting the eldest down and the baby was asleep, I plugged in and, OH MY GOD. The comparison of it being like the best BJs you’ve ever had is absolutely correct. As mentioned in this excellent article, it IS one step short of a real vagina, though.

    That was a week ago and I’ve not left my man pit since.

    Seriously, though, with the top cap screwed tight, I’ve regularly had two (ejaculating) orgasms in a row, without losing my hard-on. I’m now wondering if I’m learning a new technique, for when the wife comes back online – one that will change my sex life for ever.

    I’ve even managed to use it for Tantric orgasms (no ejaculation), which build up to impossible heights and eventually – I nearly always lose it on the fifth and cum – I’ve cum so hard that I thought I was going to blow the back of the bloody thing off.

    The Fleshlight has opened up a whole new world for me; I now have the ability to practice Tantric sex, without bugging the wife while she’s in baby land, I’ve found a new thing that I can do (double cumming orgasms) and I’m left thinking that maybe I could train myself to have half hour orgasms and stacked orgasms, just like those that the women in my life have experienced for the three decades that I’ve been playing with them.

    Since all of this is theoretically possible, I’m going for it. Once I’ve mastered all that, I’ll be back in Soho for the Stamina version. Then I fancy weirding myself out with the alien one. Then… oh hell, I might just buy all of them, except those modeled on real women, of course.

    As for the cleaning, granted, if it’s not going to be used for a long time, it needs to be dried out completely to stop microbes building up. However, with the anti-bacterial spray and daily use, the worst thing that’s going to happen is getting Pseudomonas bacteria in my urinary tract. Happily, as one of the world’s top urinary tract medical consultants told me, the other day, “we all carry Pseudomonas under our foreskins but that’s never a problem if you have a normal urinary tract – it just gets flushed out”.

    I clean mine by spraying it thoroughly, inside, waiting a minute or two for any wee beasties to die and then I hook the back end of it onto the mixer tap on the kitchen sink, to blast every thing out of the front. I spray, rinse and dry the case and caps, dry the outside of the insert on kitchen towel and then it’s back to the man pit, which is always warm and dry. I do leave the caps very loose, though, to help evaporation.

    Did I mention that the Fleshlight is worth the money? No? Actually, it’s a TOTAL BARGAIN.

    I would suggest that if you’re in between relationships or steeped in baby land, this is the ONLY toy you should invest in.

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Thanks so much for your detailed comment and for sharing your experience! Parenthood is a huge challenge, and it can be especially challenging to a couple’s sex life. You really have to make it a priority. But, sex toys (including Fleshlights) can help, as well as supporting each other and encouraging each other to “get what you can get while the getting’s good”, you know? Have you read our article titled, How we kept sex going after starting a family and How to stay intimate when life gets in the way of sex? The first is all about the challenge of keeping your sex life going once kids are in the picture, and the other is about how to keep it going when all sorts of thing, including kids, get in the way of sex. We do make mention of Fleshlights and other sex toys in those articles. They can really help. Having a sex partner is about more than just having sex with with each other. It’s about having a vested interest in one another’s sexual fulfillment and satisfaction. Although that obviously and definitely does include having sex and trading hands-on sexual favors for one another, it also includes encouraging each other to masturbate and explore one’s own capacity for sexual pleasure, especially when doing things together isn’t convenient or possible. It’s part of caring for another person in total and holistically—wanting nothing but wonderful things for the special person in your life, including sexual pleasure and fulfillment.

      It sounds like you and your wife are already hip to this and that’s wonderful. Having this attitude really helps couples through challenges, including and especially parenthood. Sex and masturbation relieve tension—that’s a well-known fact. A sexually satisfied mom and dad make for a happy family. That may make us squirm and feel uncomfortable if we (unintentionally) picture our own parents, but once you become one, you understand that it’s true.

      Also, did you know that the inventor of the Fleshlight created it (with this wife’s blessings) when he and his wife found out that they were expecting twins and that the complications of the pregnancy was going to mean that they were going to have to go over nine months without sex? So, the whole existence of the Fleshlight is rooted in keeping your sex life alive when all that sex you were having results in babies that put the brakes on sex. Check out this great article in Vice Magazine about the Fleshlight and the guy who invented it. It’s probably one of the best that I’ve read on the topic. In particular, I really appreciate what the inventor says about sexual relationships between men and women—that women are not our sexual tools or our escorts—that we have an intimate and personal relationship with them, which includes sex, but that any sexual need we have beyond the sex that we are able to have together is our own responsibility to take care of.

      Anyway, congratulations on becoming a dad! It’s tough, but it’s awesome! Stay balanced, stay healthy, and continue to practice self-care.

    • D says:

      I feel u one the kids part….when my child came in the world and she was breastfeeding. ..things just stopped

  27. Jay says:

    A friend let it slip that he owns one and never regretted it. After poking fun at him, I ordered one, and in my doubts thought “shit. I just actually did this.” When I looked for confidence in others’ experiences and read this artice, I laughed out loud that almost the same thing was thought after clicking the order button. Haven’t received mine yet, but I feel better about the purchase. Doubt now i’ll regret it either. Great article.

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Thanks for sharing your own “oh shit, what have I done” experience! Comments like this are equally, if not more reassuring and helpful to readers than the article itself. It’ll be cool though. I went from that thought to, “I have done something wonderful for myself” very soon after. It’s interesting that your friend let it slip. When something’s good, you want to tell people about it, and hey…it’s 2015. Sex toys aren’t really taboo anymore (or shouldn’t be). Heck, Walgreens is selling Trojan brand vibrators in the family planning section now. I recently read an article in Men’s Health where they toured the Fleshlight factory in Austin, Texas. In it, the CEO revealed that they sell over 80,000 Fleshlights per month. So every day, about 2,700 other dudes click the order button and probably have the same “oh shit” feeling afterwards. But every day, another 2,700 guys are probably never going to judge anyone for getting a Fleshlight ever again.

      Thank you also for the praise on the article! It is greatly appreciated.

  28. Mat says:

    I absolutely love your articles, your way of writing is brilliant! 🙂 This and ‘Stop calling it “junk”‘ are my favorites.

  29. Bob says:

    I actually prfeer lighter lubes for Aneros exercise, but this is absolutely the best lube on the market for touching oneself, head and shoulders above everything else I’ve tried. It seems to bring some of the heavenly sensations of sex itself along with it.

    • In Bed Staff says:

      Thanks for the comment, Bob! Yes, the Fleshlight lube is among the best all-purpose lube I’ve used. It’s the go-to lube of choice at my house for my wife and I both. We’re planning to do a lube shoot-out to see how it stands up side-by-side with some of the more well-known brands when we’ve got some time.

  30. Davith says:

    Yup. I’m sold already have the website pulled up on a new tab. A wonderful review, sir. I wonder how many sales FL made because of this article. 🙂

    • In Bed Editor says:

      Thanks for letting us know you found the article helpful! And, let us know if you think of something else you’d like to see written about on In Bed Magazine.

  31. Markus says:

    Great article! I’ve read a ton of them on this subject, and one thing I see missing from most of those articles is the way you can use the fleshlights with a partner – to me that’s the best part because you can have things done to yourself in ways that you cannot do otherwise without having multiple partners. My wife is incredible because she is open to most anything, and she will tend to me while I’m using the FL – I can be on my hands/knees thrusting into the FL, and she will caress my butt and testicles, she will lick those areas very softly, and with those sensations going along with thrusting into the FL, well you can imagine how incredible that experience can be – can’t do that stuff while having normal sex!! We have an incredible sex life in itself, and then throw in these types of things using toys, which I also will do the same for her and enjoy it more than she does, and my sex life couldn’t be better!

    • In Bed Editor says:

      Absolutely, Markus. I read one woman write recently that she loves the Fleshlight because it’s like giving a handjob with super powers. Sex toys are great for couples, and that includes toys for guys as well. We touched on this subject as well in our article about keeping intimacy going when life gets busy. Incorporating sex toys can help keep that connection going, even when two people aren’t able to sync up in person.

      Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. Sorry we’re so late in responding.

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