Practice self-care

Happy is attractive. People like to be around happy people…

My husband suggested we join a gym. He had worked really hard before we met to lose a significant amount of weight and wanted to make sure that he stayed that way. I was blessed with good genes that had kept me slim up into my 20s, but I knew age would eventually catch up with me and I needed some maintenance too, so we joined together and exercise became part of our daily routine.

He put himself on a strict schedule of working out Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday, and jogging the neighborhood Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday. I made use of a personal trainer at the gym and joined him on his jog on the weekends. We were looking the best we’d ever looked—better even than when we met in college, but by the time we got home after the gym, showered, and ate dinner, we were both exhausted and our sex life was beginning to dwindle.

“What is the point of going to the gym if it’s not ultimately leading to getting laid,” I thought. We needed and wanted what exercise could give us—health and sexy bodies, but we needed balance too. We needed total self care, not just exercise. There are a lot of ways to look and feel attractive. Exercise is unquestionably a key component to health and self-maintenance, but there are many other ways to perform self care. Self care doesn’t mean hours at a salon or a gym. It means making yourself happy. Happy is attractive. People like to be around happy people and when you feel good, your partner will see it.

Rest and reset

How do you refill your cup? The people that are in your life may not realize what fills your cup. You may need to tell your partner you need a break. Make an appointment with yourself. Do you have kids? Book a babysitter or ask a close friend or your parents to watch the kids. Whether it’s a pedicure, a meal by yourself, going out with friends, taking a class, reading a book uninterrupted—it’s important for you to have a reset.

Say “no” to things you don’t enjoy

Sometimes self care is not letting your time getting sucked away by thing that you don’t really enjoy, and making room in your life for things that you do enjoy. Let go of some of the things you feel are an obligation—excessive time allocated for other people—and release yourself. Say more “yes” to the things that YOU enjoy.

Self pleasure? Yes, that definitely counts as self-care.

Sometimes self-care may be masturbating all by yourself. When you masturbate, it’s all about you, your pleasure, and your pleasure only—nobody else’s. It’s about doing what you know feels best and taking as much time as you want to enjoy what your body can do for you. Sex is definitely important and a major contributor to happiness, especially in a relationship, but there’s room in life for total self-indulgence now and then as well. When the opportunity arises, seize it. If you go too long without doing it, make time for it. It’s good for your relationship too.

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