No, Gizmodo. It won’t burn your penis off.
There probably could be no better time for Fleshlight to announce their new Fleshlight warmer than the dead of winter—the very middle of January when the temperatures outside are hovering around freezing and even indoors we’re keeping the thermostat around the high 60s. I have to admit that since the original Fleshlight review, which was conducted in late summer, the test Fleshlights have literally been gathering dust. As much as I love what a Fleshlight can do for me, the thought of a really cold Fleshlight during these winter months just hasn’t been appealing. (Penises don’t usually like cold, you know.) Sure, you can soak a Fleshlight in warm water for 10 to 15 minutes (as Fleshlight has always suggested), but that’s messy and, by the time you get it all slapped back together, it’s getting cold and wet again. So when the Fleshlight warmer came across the radar on a very cold, wet day, we had to get it in for a test ASAP.
The other thing that added to our interest in getting the warmer in for an official test was a commentary posted by the tech “news” site Gizmodo just a day or two after the Fleshlight warmer came on the market. “Will the new Fleslight accessory burn my penis off?” the title of the article questioned. It was a snarky article—opening with a schoolyard taunting of anyone who owns a Fleshlight—calling users “lonely souls”. (Cue a collective grimace from those of us in the sex-positive media community.) As disappointingly judgmental and immature as the piece came off, the author did have a good reason to question the safety of the device. According to the Fleshlight website, the warmer supposedly brings the Fleshlight sleeves to a temperature of 135 degrees F (57C), and that’s too damn hot for a penis. As Gizmodo cleverly pointed out, 135 degrees is “medium rare” for a steak. Surely, we thought, something is off about that number and there’s got to be something we’re missing. Fleshlight has a high sense of self-preservation as a company, as their legal wars against foreign imposters demonstrates. You don’t grow your sex toy business by cooking your customers’ penises. Gizmodo was right to question it, but we’re here to arrive at a real (and hopefully helpful) answer.
Acquiring the Fleshlight Warmer
We received the Fleshlight warmer pronto.
This was our fifth order from Fleshlight and the shipping and customer service continues to be as buttoned-up as any mainstream company. As has been the case with the other orders, it arrived labeled as being from ILF, and with no hint as to the contents. Likewise, the credit card statement online simply said “Interactive”.
A few quick design notes
Hot dildo on a desktop stand? “Don’t put it in you,” says Fleshlight.
We’ll keep the design commentary brief since we want to get right to the whole question of temperature. The quality of the materials and design are on par with what we’ve come to expect from Fleshlight products. The Fleshlight Warmer is actually smaller than I expected, which is a good thing. It’s still one more thing to hide if you don’t have privacy—it looks a bit dildo-ish, which shouldn’t be surprising since that’s the shape that is designed to go inside a Fleshlight. But, for a hot dildo on a desktop stand, it’s about as good of a design as you could imagine. Fleshlight warns that, despite the Fleshlight Warmer’s orifice-friendly phallic shape, it is absolutely meant exclusively for inserting into a Fleshlight for warming and definitely NOT for inserting into yourself. (Because you know…someone, somewhere, eventually was bound to think about it.)
So how warm does the Fleshlight warmer really get?
Between 90 and 98 degrees Fahrenheit. We never hit the penis-searing 135 degree hole-o-fire mark that Gizmodo was speculating on.
According to the instructions and the box, the Fleshlight Warmer should bring the Fleshlight up to its maximum temperature in less than 5 minutes. And right there on the box it said it—”maximum temperature of 135 degrees Fahrenheit”. Yes, well before my penis was getting anywhere near a Fleshlight Warmer-warmed Fleshlight, there was definitely going to be some cautious and scientific investigating.
I pulled out of storage the three Fleshlights we used for our Fleshlight Deep-dive review and for the Fleshlight VS. Tenga comparison conducted back in the cheery warm summer. Our brave test units included a full-size Mini Lotus, a full-size Wonder Wave, and a Fleshlight Flight Pilot—the smaller, compact Fleshlight. I inserted my finger into one of them and verified that yes, it felt unpleasantly cold and clammy. I definitely had zero interest in using it for real based on the way it felt to my finger. I plugged in the Fleshlight Warmer, the green Fleshlight logo-shaped indicator light lit up, and I slid the Mini Lotus (in the black case) onto the Fleshlight Warmer stand as shown on the box. Although the warmer is made of a slick, glossy plastic, sliding the Fleshlight onto it wasn’t very smooth or easy without any lubrication, nor was pulling it off.
Update: Since the initial tests, I’ve found that pre-lubing the Fleshlight before sliding it onto the warmer stand is the way to go. Not only does this make putting the Fleshlight onto and taking it off the warmer a lot easier, it’s also a very nice feeling for the lube to be pre-warmed with the Fleshlight. I’d even go so far as to say that the ability to warm the lube with the Fleshlight is actually one of the advantages the warmer has over just soaking the sleeve in warm water. On the other hand, it does mean that you’ll need to clean the warmer. Not that cleaning the warmer is much harder than rinsing off a spoon, but it’s something to keep in mind.
While the warmer did its thing, I unboxed a brand new digital thermometer. Not the kind you use to check to see if the meat loaf has cooked through in the oven, but the kind that tells you whether or not you’ve got a fever. (Sexy times, right?) I figured the oral/rectal medical variety was the closest use-case scenario. (I was hoping that was the case, anyway.) The temperature range of the thermometer was 90F to 110F. If the warmer really did cook the Fleshlight, we were going to need a more serious thermometer.
After five minutes or so on the warmer, I cautiously pulled the Fleshlight off the stand—being careful not to touch what I imagined was a very hot dildo as Gizmodo’s ominous headline flashed through my mind. I inserted the thermometer, pressed it hard against the inside side of the sleeve, hit the thermometer button, waited for a beep and…”L”—the LCD showed an “L”. I checked the thermometer instructions and an “L” indicates that the temperature reading was below the minimum threshold of 90 degrees Fahrenheit. “Seriously?” I thought.
I pulled out the thermometer and inserted my finger. The Fleshlight simply no longer felt cold and clammy. It was an improvement, but not really warm either, and certainly not the penis-searing fire hole that Gizmodo had predicted. Then, I cautiously touched the warmer itself. It was warm, but not hot. It was burger-in-a-bag after a 15-minute car ride home kind of warm.
I decided to try warming it again for 10 minutes. This time, I kept an eye on the warmer and noticed that the green logo light cycled on and off, with the on-cycle lasting about five minutes. It turns out that the light goes off and the unit shuts down temporarily when it hits its maximum temperature. So, figuring it would be at its hottest immediately after the “on” cycle ended, I pulled the Fleshlight off the stand as soon as the light turned off and took a new reading with the thermometer. I got 90.8 degrees.
“Now we’re talking,” I thought. I inserted my finger as far as I could and felt an inviting and relatively natural warmth. Then, I grabbed the Wonder Wave Fleshlight, which hadn’t been warmed, and felt the inside of it for comparison. The warmed Mini Lotus felt so much nicer in comparison. If I hadn’t been in a scientific testing frame of mind (hey, where’s my lab coat?), I might have been inspired to try it with more than just my finger right then, but there was a lot more work to be done.
I warmed each of the other two Fleshlights twice, the Wonder Wave and the Fleshlight Flight, and took the resulting temperatures each time. What I got was a relatively consistent range between 90.8 and 98 degrees Fahrenheit. Each time, I also felt the inside with my finger. I felt like the thermometer was reading a little lower than the actual temperature, which is understandable since the makers of the thermometer probably never imagined anyone inserting the instrument into a sex toy. But, at no time did any of the Fleshlights feel anything other than pleasant to the fingers.
I’m not sure where, when, how, or if the maximum temperature of 135F claimed by Fleshlight actually happens, but for once, I’m really glad that a claim stated on a box doesn’t appear to tell the full story. Perhaps it’s a temperature spike that happens internally inside the warmer. In my measured tests, the warmer definitely did not bring the Fleshlight sleeves to 135 degrees, and I’m 100 percent good with that. I’m guessing that’s mostly likely the intended result, because the result to the senses is pretty much perfect.
So what’s it like to actually put a Feshlight Warmer-warmed Fleshlight to use?
“OMG, that really is nice.” Guys who like to edge are going to love this thing.
The next day, with all of the testing and photography equipment put away, I decided to warm up the Fleshlight Mini-Lotus on the Fleshlight warmer and try using it for real. It was a perfect morning for it too—rainy and cold, about 40 degrees outside and probably mid-60s in the closet where the Fleshlights were stored. Before warming it up, I felt the inside of the Fleshlight with my finger and it was even colder inside than before the tests on the day before. There is no way I would have used that Fleshlight that morning without warming it, nor would I have had the patience to warm it in a sink full of hot water.
I set the warmer on the bedside table and “entertained myself” while the warmer went through its warming cycle. I pulled the Fleshlight off the stand (it took two hands—one to pull and one to hold the warmer down), added some of the Fleshlight-provided lubricant, and…”ahhhhh, now that is nice”, I thought as I slid inside.
As I mentioned in the Fleshlight Deep-dive review, I only warmed the Fleshlight in water (as suggested by the company) once or twice during the time I was testing for the article. It was honestly too much of a long, wet, and messy hassle to take that extra preparatory step and to mess with going back and forth from the bathroom sink to the bed. Plus, it just didn’t seem absolutely necessary because it was during warmer months. The Fleshlights weren’t warm, but they weren’t really cold either. But, from the times that I did warm it, I was always conscious of the fact when using it without warming it that I was missing out on an entire dimension without the warmth.
Using a Fleshlight that has been warmed to 93 degrees or so is a truly self-spoiling sensation. And, it adds a dimension of realism that sends your mind into a fantasy blitz. I’m married, and my wife (and writing partner) and I are fortunate to have as active of a sex life as our busy lives allow. So, I’ve never really needed or wanted the Fleshlight to be particularly realistic feeling. I’ve just enjoyed it for occasional variety and for the alternative sensations it offers, whether used on my own or wielded by my wife to make lazy handjobs feel more exciting. But I have to say that when warmed, the Fleshlight suddenly felt so much more like actual sex that my brain started flashing back to some of my best sex memories of all times, including the first time I had sex without a condom—the first time that I felt that real, unimpeded warmth and softness. (Which was actually with my wife, by the way.) That’s some pretty intense and immersive stuff going on for a morning solo wank.
It was hard to keep from going over the falls after just a couple of minutes, so I decided to try to edge just a bit and keep the bliss going a little while longer. (It’s not often that I get to indulge like this, after all.) And that’s when I discovered what might be the very best thing about the Fleshlight warmer compared to warming it in a sink. The Fleshlight Warmer was still plugged in, so I put the Fleshlight back on the warmer for a few minutes to let it warm back up to it its maximum temperature. When I returned to using the “recharged” Fleshlight, I got to repeat that “OMG, that feels warm and amazing” sensation once again as I went back in. In fact, it felt even better going into it a second time. Once again (and very quickly), the Fleshlight brought me back to the brink of the point of no return. I paused, held back, and put the Fleshlight back on the warmer one more time. (The Fleshlight goes on the warmer a lot easier once lubed, I discovered. No sh!t, right?) I spent a few minutes catching my breath, and when the light on the warmer went off, it was go-time once more. I removed the Fleshlight from the warmer, added a little bit more lubricant, and experienced THAT wonderful “ahhhhhh going in” sensation once more. Within 30 seconds I went over the falls inside the swirling warmth and softness. It was definitely a next-best-thing to sex type of thing.
Update: One disadvantage of using the warmer instead of soaking the sleeve in warm water is that with the Fleshlight Warmer, the outside entry and first quarter-inch or so of the inside of the entry doesn’t get very warm. Compared to the inside, the entry is still kind of cold. It would be great if they would add some sort of cupping base that would radiate heat to the front of the entry itself so that you feel warmth from the very start. I can overlook it for how convenient and less messy using the warmer is, but if you must have ultimate warmth from the outside to the inside, the old sink method is still the way to go.
“Thank you sooooooooooo much,” said my penis to me.
The Fleshlight Warmer is a real enhancement and makes a Fleshlight particularly more appealing during the cold months. It’s far better than warming it in the sink—less messy and less distracting, and a warm Fleshlight feels so much better, which is saying a lot. In particular, if you’re wanting a Fleshlight to feel as much like real sex as possible for whatever reason—warm is the way to go. It makes a huge difference and the Fleshlight warmer is the best way to get there. And at $29.95, that’s not much to pay for a lot of joy.
I never could get anything near the claimed 135 degrees that scared the guys at Gizmodo. And that’s a good thing. I’m guessing this warmer is working perfectly because the temperatures that the warmer did achieve resulted in a perfect sensation and is probably the sensation most people would hope for. Maybe there’s just something about the 135 degree claim that I’m not understanding. Fleshlight would do well to clear it up though if there is something else that people need to understand about the temperature specs, because their 135 degree claim is freaking out Gizmodo, and Gizmodo is, in turn, scaring male readers out of a potentially really nice treat. But really, a good rule of thumb (no pun intended) is that if you’re thinking of putting your penis into something, feel it with your finger first, no matter what. Everyone does that, right?
Did we leave anything out?
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